One time, I got tricked into ingesting a mysterious white substance by a couple of my buddies. We were in the process of knocking out our mandatory summer workouts for football, and I wanted to get stronger – in a hurry. That's when I found it, a white bag laying in the locker of our senior quarterback. Kreotene, I was told. About an hour later, I figured out that the substance I had mixed with my water was actually not kreotene.
I had mixed a 32 ounce cup of H2O and epson salt. The results were not pretty. Needless to say, that concoction had a certain sort of cleansing effect on the body. Fortunately for me, there were no investigators wanting to know what I had ingested, and my 'buddies" were not eager to run to the papers with details of my encounter.
Barry Bonds was not so lucky. When a sixteen year old high school tight end ingests epson salt and claims he didn't know what he had taken, people laugh at the two hours he spends in the bathroom that afternoon. When a two-time MVP takes some 'unknown" substance, however, the fallout is a little more serious and draws a much greater amount of attention from the media and everyone else.
I am a fan of Barry Bonds. I cheered the night that he hit his 71st home run and then jumped onto the plate in front of the home folks in San Francisco. With that said, the home run champ is probably in for a long ride over the next few months and potentially, the next few years. Recent reports have indicated that a federal grand jury is investigating whether or not Barry Bonds committed perjury when he gave a December 2003 testimony that he had not knowingly taken steroids. Before he challenges Hank Aaron for baseball's most sacred record, Bonds could be slapped with an indictment for the crime.
To me, the only thing more disturbing than Barry Bonds' activity over the last three years has been the witch hunt that seems focused on the fallen star. While its probably true that Bonds has cheated baseball, he's just one in a long line of cheaters. Now, it seems like baseball and legal authorities alike are hell bent on making an example out of the game's ultimate bad guy. No drug tests have turned up showing that Bonds used steroids. Increasing hat sizes not withstanding, now that they can't exactly nail him on steroids, authorities have turned to perjury. If Bonds can pull a Bill Clinton (Depends what the meaning of ‘Is' is?) and shake the perjury charges, the Feds will undoubtedly bring their version of Mariano Rivera out of the bullpen in the form of tax evasion charges.
Barry Bonds could end up spending time in the big house like another prominent member of celebrity society. When Martha Stewart lied to prosecutors in 2004, she was found guilty in convincing fashion, sending a message to all who followed. The Queen of Décor was the one person who couldn't spend time in jail, right? If what the grand jury is investigating is true, Bonds may find himself in the same unenviable situation, and there won't be a private chamber equipped with leather sofa and widescreen like he enjoys in the Giants' clubhouse. No way, Jose. Not even close.
Facing these real acquisitions, Bonds may envy the days where he could intimidate smallish reporters and freely ingest steroids (err, epson salt) without anyone breathing down his neck. I hope that in this case, justice is served and names are cleared, but I would hate to see Bonds be made an example for the rest of baseball. He has been one of the best hitters in the history of the game and it would be unfortunate for his great plays on the field to be overshadowed by his improprieties off of it. With that said, Barroid may be in the position where his only option is to cut his losses and ride off into the proverbial sunset, a la Pete Rose and marvelous Martha.
You can reach Coby DuBose @ cdubose@featurepresentationonline.com.
